WHERE, OH WHERE, DID THE ZUCCHINI GO?

It's January, and even the most ardent zucchini gardener has been reduced to (gasp!) buying zucchini. And it's over a dollar a pound. Here's a way to stretch a single medium sized zucchini into a side dish for four or a main one for three (Use 12 ounces of pasta for a main dish). It's equally as good with yellow crookneck squash, and as the first crop comes in next spring, the zucchini quotent can be expanded. Don't cook the zucchini too long -- mushy is not good. Here's a savory main dish that will come together in the time it takes to boil up a pot of pasta. Just put your cutting board by the saute pan and keep adding and stirring as you chop.

Tuscan Spaghetti

2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 red pepper, diced
1/2 pound mushrooms, diced
2 large cloves of garlic, chopped fine or pressed
1 zucchini, diced into 3/8" dice
1 small jar marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
12 kalamata olives, chopped
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano or 1 spring of fresh, chopped fine
3/4 pound whole wheat pasta
Parmesan cheese (optional)

Start a large pot of water to boil.

In a medium skillet over medium heat, saute the mushrooms, pepper and garlic until the pepper starts to soften (about five minutes).

Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook to al dente (five to eight minutes).

Add zucchini to vegetables, stir, and add in artichokes, olives, and oregano. Cook just until some of the zucchini starts to soften.

Drain the pasta, mix in the vegetables, and top with cheese.

CHUTNEY: MEMORIES OF FRESH PEACHES

Some of the best things in life are unexpected, undeserved and unexplained. A peach tree appeared in our back yard about four years ago. At first we weren't certain it was a peach, although childhood memories pretty much ID'd the unique shape of the leaves. Three years ago it sprouted some very peach-like blossoms, two years ago it had about a dozen peaches, and last summer we had a bumper crop of small but extremely delicious free peaches!

We ate peaches three meals a day, gave away peaches and froze peaches. Then I thought of chutney. If you've never had Indian food, chutney is a condiment served along side curries to enhance them and abate the fire. It also is an excellent side dish for meat, turning a not-so-spectacular chop into something to write home about. Mangoes are the most familiar base for chutney, but even in California mangoes are not free. What follows is a very good, quite cheap variation. You can go to the trouble of canning this, but while it will never quite freeze solid due to the sugar content, it will keep for months in the freezer parcelled out in ziplock baggies.

PEACH CHUTNEY

2 cloves of garlic

2 1/2 cups chopped apple (peeled if skins are tough)

1 cup chopped onion

2 1/2 cups peeled, chopped peaches

1 cup raisins

1/2 cup chopped dried apricots

1 cup brown sugar

1 1/4 cup cider vinegar

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon grated ginger

1/2 teaspoon allspice

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cloves

Chop all the fruit into approximately 1/2" chunks ( it will all cook down, so precision doesn't count for very much here, except for the apricots which tend to keep their shape). Put everything in a large pot, bring to a boil and reduce heat to medium low. Cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve warm or chill or freeze. Makes about 5 1/2 cups chutney.

If you wish to can the finished product, process in 1/2 pint jars in a boiling water bath for 30 minutes.

EAT POPCORN, GET VEGETABLE CREDIT!

Okay, so it only tastes like popcorn, but I dearly love this hominy-zucchini recipe for its great flavor and nutrition (not to mention its service to zucchini overpopulation problems).

MEXICAN ZUCCHINI AND HOMINY

1 medium onion, coarsely chopped

2 teaspoons salad or olive oil

2 or more cloves of garlic, coarsely chopped

1 larger or several smaller zucchini (or half a monster, peeled and seeded) chopped

1 can (14 ounce size) hominy, drained and rinsed

1 can (14 ounces, again) chopped tomatoes

1 teaspoon or more (taste along the way and keep adding) chili powder

In a big skillet over medium high heat, cook the onion until it starts to soften, stirring occasionally. Add the garlic and zucchini and stir to blend the flavors. Dump in everything else and cook over medium heat, uncovered, approximately 10 minutes, stirring frequently, until the

zucchini is tender but not limp and soggy.

Serves 4

Variation #1: Stir in a drained can of black beans and call this a complete meal.

Variation #2: The next morning, put left-overs in a skillet with just a little oil in the bottom. Break 2 eggs/serving on top, put on a lid, and cook over medium heat until the eggs are as done as you like. Great breakfast.

Variation #3: Push the Mexican envelope by adding a minced jalapeno pepper with the onion and a teaspoon or more of cumin with the chili powder.

ASSETS, LIABILITIES AND ZUCCHINI

THE ZUCCHINI AMOUNGST US
I checked last Monday: only infant zucchini. By Friday there was one as large as a human infant! A six pound zucchini in the refrigerator looms as large as a frozen holiday turkey. So when life gives you zucchini, make: ROAST VEGETABLES Notice there's not a mention of zucchini in the title; no need to tip off the family in advance. When they're done licking their lips, that's the time to 'fess up.

CARAMELIZED ROAST VEGETABLES

6 smallish new potatoes, scrubbed and quartered, but not peeled

1 medium onion, peeled and wedged

2 cloves garlic, peeled and cut into thin slices

Zucchini -- how much is up to your conscience, but approximately as much volume as the
potatoes. For stealth mode, peel it, take out any central, seedy core if it's a large one, and
cut it into 1" by 2" pieces.

Other vegetables such as carrots, sweet potatoes, turnips, whatever's handy, cut into similar

sized pieces

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 teaspoon garlic salt

1 teaspoon fresh thyme, 1 teaspoon rosemary, or other fresh herbs (optional)

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper.

Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Mix up the oil and spices in a bowl and add the vegetables as you prepare them. Toss well to make certain there is a little oil on everything.

Line a cookie sheet or roasting pan with foil, spray it with Pam and spread the vegetables out evenly. Bake for 1 hour, or until everything has a little caramel tinge to it, stirring a few times to insure even browning. Makes four side servings. This is another one where I could eat the whole thing by myself and call it supper.

MY FRIEND, THE ZUCCHINI

There are two vibrant zucchini vines growing by my back fence this year, healthy and productive with almost no care. The over-watering of my next door neighbor, the free attention of the noonday sun, and the shovel of compost added when the seeds went in provide everything a good zucchini needs.

Care must be taken not to adopt too many zucchinis simply because of their over-eager ability to repay your kindness. Too many zucchinis lead to snide comments by ones family about planting zucchinis, not because one loves them, but rather because they will be so obliging. I, on the other hand, love the challenge of using them in dozens of ways to make inexpensive meals, the convenience of always having a supply at hand, and the delicious results of a little labor. As the season wears on I will plant two more seeds in a different part of the garden. One planting seldom will last the entire summer without abruptly wilting away from pests or mildew at some point. I would rather start over than use chemicals to try to hold back Mother Nature. Seeds will stay viable a number of years if they are stored in a cool dry place. This is year number three for my $1.89 packet of "Black Beauty" zucchini seeds, fast on their way to becoming one of the all-time grocery bargains.

Consider ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. Not really a fritter by the standard definition, but maybe a hybrid pancake-fritter, I could make a meal of these. This recipe will serve two as a side dish, or just me.

1 8-ounce zucchini, 2 smaller ones, or flesh of a giant one that lurked under the leaves too long (peel the giant and scoop out the tough seeds in the center)
salt
1 egg
2 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
2 tablespoons parmesan cheese (or other grated cheese)
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon butter

Grate the zucchini on the large hole side of a grater. Put the zucchini in a colander in the sink, sprinkle with the salt, and stir it around until the salt is well mixed in. Let it stand for 30 minutes to an hour. Rinse out the salt and squeeze the zucchini with your hands to extract as much liquid as possible.

Beat the egg in a small bowl and mix in the flour, baking powder, cheese, and pepper; add the shredded zucchini.

Heat the butter in a small skillet. Divide the batter into four parts and drop each part into the hot butter, pushing down with your fingers --if you're quick -- or a spatula to flatten to about 1/2 inch high. Cook over medium heat for five minutes, turn carefully and cook approximately five more. Serve with a little more butter and salt.

This is dinner for a dollar at its finest.

AT THE RISK OF BEATING A DEAD HORSE...

So, if you've been following this, you've got a new trick or two. Now let's revisit eggs and asparagus one more time and move it on up a notch. Back in the day, my mother didn't drive. Going to the grocery store had to wait until my father could take her, usually once a week on Saturday. Even though the milkman came twice a week, by the time the following Friday came around, the refrigerator was running a little bare. It was time for:

Viola Folsom's Salmon Cakes

For garnish

1 pound asparagus (or a package of frozen asparagus, prepared as per the package
directions)
4 hard-cooked eggs

Clean asparagus and snap off ends. Put in a microwave dish, ready to zap just before serving. When needed, microwave for 3 minutes, or until as done as you like it.

Put four eggs in a sauce pan. Cover with cold water so that eggs are submerged by at least one inch. Bring to boil and put a cover on the pan. Turn off heat and allow to stand for 10 (for small eggs) to 15 (for extra large eggs) minutes. Drain and cover with cold water. Peel when cool enough to handle.

For white sauce

2 tablespoons flour
2 cups milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
pinch pepper
2 tablespoons butter

Combine flour, milk, salt and pepper in a microwave safe bowl that will hold at least four cups. Mix thoroughly and zap for two minutes, stir and then zap again until mixture has boiled and thickened. Stir in butter and set aside.

For salmon cakes

1 (14.75 ounce) can salmon, drained
2 stalks of celery, diced fine
1/4 cup onion, diced very fine or grated
(I use dried onion flakes)
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/2 cup saltine crackers, crushed

Mix together all ingredients and shape into four patties. Saute in a little oil over medium heat for approximately 10 minutes, turning over once -- carefully.

To serve, put asparagus on plate, top with salmon cake, then white sauce and sliced hard-cooked eggs.

Mother used canned asparagus, too. I wouldn't recommend it. I was a grown up before I figured out that all asparagus wasn't slimy!

I HAVE SIX HARD-BOILED EGGS. NOW WHAT?

Beyond the obvious grabbing of the salt and pepper and digging in, I use hard-boiled (hard-cooked) eggs mainly for deviling, potato and macaroni salad, egg salad sandwiches and garnishes. We'll get to some of the others later, but since it's spring and asparagus season, one of my favorite uses for cooked eggs is the following:

ASPARAGUS ON TOAST

(makes one serving: multiply accordingly)

1 or 2 hard-cooked eggs (use two if this is a main dish, one for a side dish)

1 slice of good bread, toasted

6 spears of asparagus

1/2 cup white sauce

So let's start backwards, with the white sauce. Put 1/2 cup of milk, 2 teaspoons of flour, and a pinch of salt in a microwave-safe cup or bowl that holds at least two cups so it won't run over. Stir until all the flour is mixed in and then microwave on high for one minute. Stir again and re-zap at 30 second intervals until it thickens up. Add 1 teaspoon butter, stir and set aside.

Asparagus needs to be bent until the tough base snaps off and you're left with the nice tender stuff. Depending on the quality of your spears, the tough part might be 1 inch or many. Just go on, grab both ends and bend it -- the asparagus knows! Put the asparagus and 1 teaspoon of water on a microwave-safe plate, cover loosely with wax paper or another plate and zap for about two minutes. You want it to be just barely tender when you stick it with a fork.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...put the bread in the toaster and slice the egg(s) as neatly as you can. Or, chop them up if neatness is an issue! Butter the finished toast and slice it into strips.

To assemble all this put the toast strips on a plate, lay the asparagus across them, spread on the white sauce and garnish with the eggs. All this takes about as much time as it takes to explain the process and you have dinner for less than $2.00.