ASSETS, LIABILITIES AND ZUCCHINI

THE ZUCCHINI AMOUNGST US
I checked last Monday: only infant zucchini. By Friday there was one as large as a human infant! A six pound zucchini in the refrigerator looms as large as a frozen holiday turkey. So when life gives you zucchini, make: ROAST VEGETABLES Notice there's not a mention of zucchini in the title; no need to tip off the family in advance. When they're done licking their lips, that's the time to 'fess up.

CARAMELIZED ROAST VEGETABLES

6 smallish new potatoes, scrubbed and quartered, but not peeled

1 medium onion, peeled and wedged

2 cloves garlic, peeled and cut into thin slices

Zucchini -- how much is up to your conscience, but approximately as much volume as the
potatoes. For stealth mode, peel it, take out any central, seedy core if it's a large one, and
cut it into 1" by 2" pieces.

Other vegetables such as carrots, sweet potatoes, turnips, whatever's handy, cut into similar

sized pieces

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 teaspoon garlic salt

1 teaspoon fresh thyme, 1 teaspoon rosemary, or other fresh herbs (optional)

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper.

Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Mix up the oil and spices in a bowl and add the vegetables as you prepare them. Toss well to make certain there is a little oil on everything.

Line a cookie sheet or roasting pan with foil, spray it with Pam and spread the vegetables out evenly. Bake for 1 hour, or until everything has a little caramel tinge to it, stirring a few times to insure even browning. Makes four side servings. This is another one where I could eat the whole thing by myself and call it supper.

MY FRIEND, THE ZUCCHINI

There are two vibrant zucchini vines growing by my back fence this year, healthy and productive with almost no care. The over-watering of my next door neighbor, the free attention of the noonday sun, and the shovel of compost added when the seeds went in provide everything a good zucchini needs.

Care must be taken not to adopt too many zucchinis simply because of their over-eager ability to repay your kindness. Too many zucchinis lead to snide comments by ones family about planting zucchinis, not because one loves them, but rather because they will be so obliging. I, on the other hand, love the challenge of using them in dozens of ways to make inexpensive meals, the convenience of always having a supply at hand, and the delicious results of a little labor. As the season wears on I will plant two more seeds in a different part of the garden. One planting seldom will last the entire summer without abruptly wilting away from pests or mildew at some point. I would rather start over than use chemicals to try to hold back Mother Nature. Seeds will stay viable a number of years if they are stored in a cool dry place. This is year number three for my $1.89 packet of "Black Beauty" zucchini seeds, fast on their way to becoming one of the all-time grocery bargains.

Consider ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. Not really a fritter by the standard definition, but maybe a hybrid pancake-fritter, I could make a meal of these. This recipe will serve two as a side dish, or just me.

1 8-ounce zucchini, 2 smaller ones, or flesh of a giant one that lurked under the leaves too long (peel the giant and scoop out the tough seeds in the center)
salt
1 egg
2 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
2 tablespoons parmesan cheese (or other grated cheese)
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon butter

Grate the zucchini on the large hole side of a grater. Put the zucchini in a colander in the sink, sprinkle with the salt, and stir it around until the salt is well mixed in. Let it stand for 30 minutes to an hour. Rinse out the salt and squeeze the zucchini with your hands to extract as much liquid as possible.

Beat the egg in a small bowl and mix in the flour, baking powder, cheese, and pepper; add the shredded zucchini.

Heat the butter in a small skillet. Divide the batter into four parts and drop each part into the hot butter, pushing down with your fingers --if you're quick -- or a spatula to flatten to about 1/2 inch high. Cook over medium heat for five minutes, turn carefully and cook approximately five more. Serve with a little more butter and salt.

This is dinner for a dollar at its finest.